Jerome's incomprehensible but improving...
Saturday, February 07, 2004

I offer this argument to those who state "You create your own reality."
I kick them in the shin.
Then say, "Why did you do that?"

There are no Famous Hackers" meaning simply, that the famous "super-genuius-crackers" in the news who get caught aren't really all that smart are they


Godel's Incompleteness Theorem

"Don't take life to seriously, nobody comes out alive."
Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
The gray skies fluoresce
White unearthly clouds awake
A calm sterile light

Monday, February 02, 2004

Was reflecting on what happened last Saturday. It was of different character, and wacky, though the conversation was somewhat bothersome, "risqué" as Sach put it.

1) Topic: Movies -- everyone likes movies. It's not exactly intellectual or edifying really, but it's a kind of geeky small talk -- "small talk" being defined (by me) as talk that's tangential conversation, not really talking about the topic per se, more of getting to know a person by gleaning interests, daily habits, whatnot, from the conversation. Peppy and Marcelle

2) Topic: Alcohol -- is OK. It's not bad per se, it's like food -- you can overdo it, it's just a bit easier to get too much of it since you sometimes can't tell if you've had enough. If the ancient Greeks and your local parish priest drink the stuff... It's similar to talking about escapades and high school pranks -- for example, in telling about getting drunk you giddily narrate how you overdid "it", not exactly to encourage, more of a sharing of some awkward or embarrassing situation you got yourself into.

3) Topic: "risqué" stuff -- sometimes conversations go that way. And there's an art to conversing, you just can't go off at a tangent. Next time though, I should exercise more martial-arts like tactics. Think opponent's blows glancing of my chest because I am redirecting their exertions, pushing their arms here, slightly twisting my torso at an angle, etc. I find that I really like to be "convivial", try to get to know many kinds of people, and sometimes we just "go with the flow". At the same time, can improve how we converse by applying some "smart" conversational skills.

4) Showing of talent is OK, especially when presented in a light or humble manner, "sharing" with the crowd, getting them to know new things, or sharing one's dorkiness, etc.

5) I am young, and with so many people to learn from, it's going to be quite exciting. Note to self: in turn give some of it back someday! :-P

Some more serious reflections:

1) (similar to rich != happy):

intellectual != virtuous

It's a common-sense thing really, not being "holier than thou" here. While this is something that has been somewhat significantly on my mind for more than a month now, some recent observations have reminded me again. Meeting several people over the past year, I am fairly convinced that these are not the same, and are contrasting sometimes. Someone who makes childish jokes at his girlfriend in public is actually of a caring and gentlemanly character, while another is gentlemanly yet perverse. Yet others I felt have used intellect with unnecessary pride, while others admit not knowing much but genuine in trying to help improve how we do things.

If I have had some "dissenting" thoughts on the geek ethos before, I think I have a better understanding now, though I have to learn about it more. Similar to wealth, intellect or adeptness with technology is not to be valued per se, but to how it is used to better one's self and how it is shared. Otherwise, how is it any different from the hubris of material wealth? Rich lifestyle, geek lifestyle, whatever -- it's just a different currency that's being flaunted. Tech sharing, our "dev improvements meetings" and the occasional "hallway lectures" are good. Open source (even using Microsoft tech!) is good. Helping in forums is good. Helping out my bro, other students is good. Lots of good things. I hope to improve.

2) Geeking out on computers and books is fun. Though a lot of "mindless" things are fun, and at the same time edifying too. Read a book is good (ok still not mindless enough.) Taking pics is enlightening (can lead to intellectual haiku exercises too, though.) At dinner with friends, talking about how things are doing, one can garner eclectic wisdoms (from Ambeth Ocampo, from learning German, from standing up to teachers in high school.)

Some asides: Singing out loud with Mark in Sunday mass is uplifting. Looking back at my Sampa party, I had some nice realizations too (from bumming, from being a reformed person, from college cramming, from looking for a place to study, from getting by, etc.)

Having several circles of friends is good. Geeking out is about learning, and I learn a lot from friends, they teach me facts and realizations ranging from fun trivia to life questions, from ancient Tagalog to buying flowers for a friend.

3) (I must have written down something like this before, just reaffirming in any case) I guess sharing with the world at large through a blog is a kind of hubris, though I've always felt that my blog in particular is not really read except by a few people who care to read, so it's still primarily blogging to myself. And if I've learned something positive, or posted a random tech stuff link that they appreciate then that's good.

4) God help me. May sound hypocritical but that's no excuse not to ask for help since we can use guidance. I hope to learn more about things without losing my way in what is best and good.

5) Sleep! I owe it to myself, the world and whoever I can help.

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